Does shame stop you from being yourself and living the life you want?
This short article provides a brief introduction to my work.
It’s a topic about a dreaded emotion that we feel in various places in our body, in our throat, deep in the pit of our stomach. We’d rather not own up to it or believe we feel it, but until we do, we will never be free.
We all have shame
Shame is something we all carry.
But most of us have been taught to carry it wrongly.
At its core, shame is not meant to be a life sentence.
It is meant to be a signal.
A flicker.
Like pain in the body.
Pain tells you: “Take your hand off the fire, something’s wrong.”
Shame is meant to do the same: “That didn’t feel right. Something about that behaviour hurt me, or hurt someone else.”
But instead of letting shame do its job and then pass,
society turned it into a weapon.
It was used by parents, teachers, religions, partners, governments —
to keep us small, obedient, silent.
And so what was meant to be a momentary guide
became a lifelong identity.
The truth is, we don’t need lifelong shame to live fully.
We need awareness.
We need compassion.
We need conscience.
Shame’s real purpose is to get our attention.
To let us feel, for a moment, that something is off.
And once we’ve felt it,
once we’ve understood what it was pointing to,
we can release it.
We don’t need to live under it anymore.
Living fully comes not from carrying shame forever,
but from learning from it —
and then choosing differently.That is the invitation.
Not to drown in shame.
But to listen to it,
take its lesson,
and then step forward into freedom.
How counselling will help
Counselling is when we come together in a safe space, to explore your world. We form a therapeutic relationship and you feel supported in all your struggles. If you use alcohol, drugs or anything else to avoid feeling shame, you are not alone. The only thing you have to be sure about is that you want a better life for yourself and you are willing to feel your shame. Once you have decided, you will soon start to feel better, freer and wish you had done it sooner.
Are you ready to talk?
I offer a low-cost confidential service. I offer space to speak, find your voice, be really heard and validated. I am a trained professional counsellor who specialises in anxiety and trauma. Make an appointment to meet me and tell me what you want from counselling. See if you feel comfortable. The first session is over Zoom for both of our safety and then you can do sessions over Zoom from your own home or in person in mine, in my safe, comfortable therapy room.
Book your appointment today
Click here and book a free initial consultation with me today. Read what people are saying about working with me in counselling here. I hold a private, confidential space for you. I’m looking forward to meeting you and hearing you very soon. Best wishes, Karen.
Buy my book
Read and listen version “From Ego to Soul: Shame is your friend.”
Disclaimer: I am a UK qualified person centred counsellor specialising in anxiety and trauma within the context of counselling. I write from my experiences and from my client work in counselling. My work is dependent on the therapeutic relationship and the meeting of two minds. It is a humbling experience and that is all part of the healing process that I witness every day. It is the best job in the world. This is not an emergency service. If you need to speak to someone urgently outside of my sessions, please call the Samaritans on 116 123 (24/7 confidential helpline in the UK).
