“Baby girl, we don’t change. We take the gravel and the shell and we make a pearl. We help other people to change so they can see more kinds of beauty.” Pink.
For generations, we have been born into a patriarchal system that dictates what a woman should look like. This system, reinforced by media and cultural propaganda, has shaped our perception of beauty, self-worth, and health in ways that are deeply damaging. The standard imposed on women has rarely been about genuine health or strength—it has been about control, conformity, and an ever-moving goalpost of what is deemed acceptable.
The Emaciating Culture of Body Shaming
Women are told, explicitly and implicitly, that their worth is tied to their appearance. From childhood, we are bombarded with images of airbrushed models, impossibly thin actresses, and diet-culture messaging that glorifies shrinking ourselves to take up less space—physically and metaphorically.
This relentless pressure fuels eating disorders, self-hatred, and a sense of never being enough. Anorexia, bulimia and binge eating disorder are not just personal struggles; they are symptoms of a society that rewards women for their willingness to disappear. The thinner we are, the more approval we receive—until we are so starved that our bodies fail us. And still, it is not enough.
Male Entitlement, Female Shame: The Burden Women Carry.
From the moment we are born, girls are raised to be humble, to apologise, to take up less space—while boys are encouraged to be bold, confident, and entitled to the world around them. This gendered conditioning is as old as time itself, rooted in narratives that go back to the Garden of Eden, where Eve was blamed for mankind’s downfall.
Women have been cast as the bearers of shame ever since—shamed for eating too much, for eating too little, for having curves, for lacking them, for being “too much,” for not being enough. We are blamed for the gaze of men, for their desires, for their reactions. We are taught that our bodies are public property, open for scrutiny, and our self-worth is defined by how well we conform to impossible standards.
The Truth About Health: Strength, Nourishment, and Self-Worth
But what if we reject these narratives? What if we stop seeking validation in starvation and start embracing true health—health that is not defined by the number on a scale, but by the strength of our bodies, the clarity of our minds, and the vibrancy of our spirits?
A healthy body is one that is nourished, not deprived. It is one that is moved, stretched, and strengthened—not punished. Our bodies are not the enemy; they are the vessels that keep us alive, carrying us through every experience, every joy, every challenge. When we fuel them with proper nutrition, build muscle, and listen to what they truly need, the by-product is a body that looks and feels fabulous—not because it meets an arbitrary beauty standard, but because it is alive and thriving.
We Are Enough: Owning Our Voices and Worth
There is a quiet revolution happening—women waking up to the hidden truth that we are already enough. We always have been. The standards imposed upon us were never about us; they were about control. And now, we are taking that control back.
Inspiring women are speaking out, rejecting the toxic ideals that have kept us small, and redefining what it means to be beautiful, strong, and worthy. They remind us that our voices matter, that our presence is valid, and that we do not have to conform to be valuable.
Breaking Free: A New Perspective on Beauty
Fat and skinny are not measurements of worth. In truth, they are not even clear-cut definitions—how thin is thin enough? How much weight is too much? These standards are arbitrary and ever-changing, designed to keep us chasing an illusion that is impossible to catch.
The result? A cycle of self-loathing, disordered eating, and poor mental health.
But we can break free. We can redefine beauty on our own terms—terms that honour our bodies, respect our needs, and embrace our unique forms. A body that is cared for, loved, and listened to will reflect that care.
The goal is not to shrink, but to shine. We are here, and we are enough. It is time the world hears us loud and clear.
How counselling can help
When you come to counselling, you will feel heard and understood and you will feel validated. Together we can make a decision to end the shame and the low self worth. We can work out what we need to do to find a new perspective, where you see your true potential and be the best person you can be, be free of the pressure and live a freer, peaceful, contented life.
This is a confidential service. I am waiting for your call. Book in with me here. See you soon. Karen.
You can listen to me reading this article on my YouTube channel here.
Best wishes to all my subscribers.
Karen
https://linktr.ee/karenbellcounselling
Disclaimer: I write from my experiences and from my client work in counselling and have no scientific training whatsoever. I am a person centred counsellor specialising in anxiety and trauma within the context of counselling. My work is dependent on the therapeutic relationship and the meeting of two minds. It is a humbling experience and that is all part of the healing process that I witness every day. It is the best job in the world.