Imposter syndrome is something many of us quietly carry. On the surface, life might look successful—we achieve, we move forward, we appear capable. Yet inside, there can be a whisper: “I don’t really deserve this… what if they find out I’m not good enough?”
Even with clear evidence of our abilities, imposter syndrome convinces us that our success is down to luck, timing, or someone else’s generosity, rather than our own skills or effort. It creates an inner tension—an ongoing fear of being exposed as a fraud, despite all we’ve achieved.
5 Signs of imposter syndrome
Here are five clear signs that often point to imposter syndrome:
- Downplaying your achievements
You find it hard to accept compliments or recognition, and often say things like “Oh, it was nothing” or “I just got lucky.” You discount your own effort and skill. - Fear of being “found out”
You live with a persistent worry that others will discover you’re not as capable as they think you are—almost like you’re hiding a secret. - Perfectionism and over-preparing
You push yourself to do things flawlessly, often going above and beyond just to feel “safe” from criticism. Even small mistakes feel like proof you’re not good enough. - Comparing yourself to others
You regularly measure yourself against colleagues, friends, or peers, and usually come to the conclusion that they’re more talented, confident, or deserving than you. - Struggling to internalise success
No matter what you achieve, the sense of satisfaction is short-lived. Instead of celebrating, you quickly move on to the next challenge, feeling that what you did wasn’t really that impressive after all.
Let’s explore some of the roots of imposter syndrome, and why it shows up so strongly for so many.
Perfectionism
Perfectionists often live with impossibly high standards. Anything short of flawless feels like failure. This constant striving can mean we discount our achievements the moment we reach them—quickly moving the goalposts further away. Over time, that relentless chase leaves little room for self-acceptance, and instead feeds doubt and the belief that we’re never quite enough.
Early experiences
Childhood plays a big part. If we grew up under heavy criticism, pressure to excel, or love that felt conditional on our achievements, we may have internalised a sense that who we are isn’t enough. As adults, this can show up as self-doubt, second-guessing, and a fear that at any moment others will realise we’re not as capable as they think.
Cultural and societal factors
The world around us also has a voice in this. In cultures where competition and success are held as the highest values, the pressure to prove ourselves is constant. The message is often: “Do more, achieve more, be more.” In that climate, it’s easy to feel that we can never measure up, no matter what we’ve already accomplished.
Attributional styles
Those living with imposter syndrome often struggle to take ownership of their own successes. Instead, they attribute them to luck, good timing, or someone else’s help. This self-doubt stops them from acknowledging their own ability, skill, and persistence—the very things that actually brought them here.
Comparison with others
Looking sideways at others can deepen the wound. When we see peers who seem more talented, more confident, or more successful, we can slip into the belief that we don’t belong beside them. Comparison rarely tells the whole truth, but it powerfully feeds the imposter story: “They’re the real deal. I’m just pretending.”
Imposter syndrome makes us question our worth, but the truth is—we wouldn’t be where we are without our own efforts, resilience, and heart. Success doesn’t land in our laps by accident. It grows out of who we are and what we bring to the world.
If you recognise yourself here, pause for a moment. Breathe. Remind yourself: I am not an imposter. I am enough. My presence and my path are valid.
How counselling can help
I will hold a safe space for you to explore your feelings about how unsafe it feels to get something wrong and how small and insignificant you become for safety. That may take you back to a time when strict parenting was everywhere and so it felt like no one cared about your feelings. In the home with pressure and stress to perform or be invisible was the only thing you knew. There was nowhere for you to be you. Well in counselling you get to be validated, heard, fully understood and you can not get this wrong because you are the client and for once, it is all about you.
Are you ready to talk?
I offer a low-cost confidential service. I offer space to speak, find your voice, be really heard and validated. I am a trained professional counsellor who specialises in anxiety and trauma. Make an appointment to meet me and tell me what you want from counselling. See if you feel comfortable. The first session is over Zoom for both of our safety and then you can do sessions over Zoom from your own home or in person in mine, in my safe, comfortable therapy room.
Book your appointment today
Click here and book a free initial consultation with me today. Read what people are saying about working with me in counselling here. I hold a private, confidential space for you. I’m looking forward to meeting you and hearing you very soon. Best wishes, Karen.
Disclaimer: I am a UK qualified person centred counsellor specialising in anxiety and trauma within the context of counselling. I write from my experiences and from my client work in counselling. My work is dependent on the therapeutic relationship and the meeting of two minds. It is a humbling experience and that is all part of the healing process that I witness every day. It is the best job in the world. This is not an emergency service. If you need to speak to someone urgently outside of my sessions, please call the Samaritans on 116 123 (24/7 confidential helpline in the UK).
