Articles
Holding on to love: Do you sabotage yourself from moving on?
(5 minutes reading time) When Letting Go Feels Like a Loss: The Hidden Self-Sabotage of Staying Connected Many of us stay loyal to people or systems that once offered us a lifeline — even when those connections now cost us our peace, our truth, and our wellbeing. If you’ve ever felt torn between...
Vital: Is shame your very best friend in the world?
Shame often feels like the enemy, but for many of us — especially those who grew up needing to stay small, safe, or pleasing — shame was actually a kind of protection. It helped you survive situations where being fully yourself might have led to rejection, punishment, or abandonment. Shame is...
When Love Feels Like Guilt: Religion, Sentiment, and the Silencing of Truth
For many survivors of abuse, the most painful betrayal isn’t always the act of harm itself — it’s the silence that surrounds it. The minimising, the denial, the subtle (or not-so-subtle) pressure to move on, to forgive, to keep the family together. Often, that pressure comes wrapped in layers of...
It’s not funny: ADHD, overwhelm and the split personality
In trauma-informed counseling, it is common to explore how individuals unconsciously split aspects of the self into different “parts” in order to survive overwhelming experiences. This is particularly true in clients with histories of domestic abuse (DA) or Childhood Sexual Abuse (CSA), where...
Alcohol: Time to stop lying.
Is the world is lying to us? (5 minutes reading time) You Are Not the Problem If you’re in recovery or choosing not to drink, and you feel like the odd one out—you’re not. You’re not damaged, broken, or behind. You’re ahead. You’re awake. You’re doing what healthy humans do: facing truth, choosing...
When the Mind Fragments to Survive: DID and Trauma
(5 minutes read time) (Trigger warning: Alchohol abuse, domestic abuse, sexual abuse and sexual violence and suicide combined DUI). As a counsellor and hypnotherapist, I’ve worked for years with clients navigating trauma, dissociation, and inner fragmentation. I recognise it because I am aware of...
Finding your voice: Speaking out for your silenced inner child
(5 minutes reading time) This article was inspired by Ricky Gervais.He said: “I will never stop making my voice heard, because they can’t.” Gervais was talking about animals.And it struck me—This is true of our children too. So many of them couldn’t speak, weren’t allowed to speak, or were...
People-pleasing: The real truth of who you really are
(5 minutes read time) Susan Jeffers, Ph.D. (1938–2012), best known for her powerful book Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway, spoke to something many of us sense deep down but struggle to live out. For those trapped in the fawn response—those who’ve learned to survive by staying small, agreeable, and...
Why CBT Isn’t Working: Trauma Beyond the Mind
(5 minutes read time) "I nearly jumped out of my skin." When analysed, this idiom or saying, is what I describe as taking yourself out of your body because it seems like an unsafe place to be. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) is widely regarded as a gold standard for treating anxiety,...
Fear of equality: Race and hate crimes and misogyny.
Read about misogyny- race hate crimes and grooming here.